Letters to God

Dear God... It's me, Melanie. Just wanted to have a quick conversation with you. We're ready, I think as ready as we'll ever be, but I wanted to clear a few little details up...

I am not a perfect person. This I know. But, I always do my best to be my best. I am always true to myself. I try to live my life as honest as I can and following my heart as often as I can.
I want to clear it up with you first... but I believe babies aren't given to only perfect people and my imperfections don't remove me from the running either, right?
I know that when the time is "right" and when the right little baby needs the right little home, we will become parents. Until then, I just wanted you to know, I am doing my best.
Thanks for listening.

The Story of Us

It all started in Europe on July 4th 2oo4. It just so happened both T and I journeyed across the pond for the same ASU summer session. I was headed there to earn credits for my major and finally "experience" college (living at home limits the "college" experiences one has). T was headed there to go to Amsterdam. We met on one of the first days of the trip and our impressions of one another were lasting, not positive, but lasting no less. T was a persistent little flirter and I was trying to escape his charms. But in the end his charms won. T never gave up; asking me to drinks, working on school projects, playing cards late into the night. T's efforts paid off and we went on our first date our final day in Krems. Three weeks into our trip, without looking for a boyfriend, I landed myself one. We traveled through Munich, Paris, Amsterdam and Breda. We laughed and sang, we told stories and drank, we joked and bought trinkets, we stayed up late into the night getting to know one another and we fell in love.

Once we returned to Arizona our relationship took twists and turns, we had many ups and downs, we took breaks and we always returned to one another. College was more exciting and life seemed to become more interesting and sometimes more difficult. We both supported one another through difficult times; my car accident, healing from T's dads death, my cancer & treatment. We cheered one another on during our final semester in college. We listened as one another went into internships and technical trainings and we celebrated with our whole hearts when we both landed our "first" job, career if you will. Throughout the entire process falling in and out of love and ending stronger than we ever started.

We both realized that we were meant to be. We balanced each other wonderfully; T being more cynical and straightforward, me always dreaming and getting stuck in the clouds. T is my lighthouse on the horizon always bringing me back to reality and where I am meant to be. Making sure I dream big, but never get too lost in those dreams that "real" life is not enjoyable. Always being my strength in the storm and always supporting me through thick and thin.

It is no wonder I married this man. This man I met years ago on a bus to Krems, that I kissed for the first time on a cobblestone street, that I saw forever with at the base of the Eiffel Tower, that I got caught in the rain with on a bike tour, that I held hands with and laughed with and loved with... It is no wonder.

And so the Journey Begins....

... We are "trying" to have a baby!

Actually, as T states it "We've pulled the goalie", as I state it "We are no longer preventing a baby". And so the journey begins. After being in a relationship for over five years, married for nearly one year, owning our very own house for two and raising two beautiful puppies for another two we are ready to expand our brood and challenges. We love our careers and our current state in life; always working to get ahead and playing as we go, but we are ready for a little Thornton to share this life with.

We officially stopped preventing in June of 2009. After 11 years on birth control we decided it was officially time to give my body a break. We consciously and emotionally made the decision it was time to try for baby around August. After a couple curious cases we both found that the excitement surrounding the possibility was a driving force in our desires.

So, since making the conscious decision the real excitement has begun. The endless thinking about so many random details... First, just the process of getting pregnant. I've come to learn, is not as easy as it seems in high school, timing is everything and timing is so very limited. The monthly curiosities and timelines. Then there are the thoughts surrounding the possibility of miscarriage, though a reality, a scary and saddening thought process no less. Then having a healthy baby regardless of gender, a healthy baby. Raising a child. Teaching them about love, kindness, generosity, joy and life. Playing sports; dancing, swimming, soccer, baseball, skate boarding. Participating in music and art. There are also the thoughts of dressing a little baby and decorating a room. Teaching the dogs how to interact and the baby about dogs. Everything so very exciting, everything so much more real once the conscious decision was made.

This is an incredible journey. One which I look forward to sharing and one I am so very proud to have begun.